so i was wondering why my parents are always so disappointed in me, and then i realized
here’s my sister:
here’s my other sister:
and here’s me
(Source: uselesswhat-nots)
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, God made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.